The world we live in is full of difficult topics and as a parent or caregiver you may find yourself trying to navigate these conversations with your child. Difficult topics can include grief, divorce, world events, illnesses and more.
As caregivers we want to protect our children, but we also want to equip them with the emotional tools to navigate life’s challenges. Talking about tough topics strengthens your child’s ability to think, solve problems and communicate. It also helps to build your child’s resilience. When we open up and talk about tough topics with your child gives you a chance to explain values and beliefs that are important to your family.
Difficult Conversations by Age
Talking to children in age/developmental appropriate ways helps them feel safe, supported and heard. Here are some practical tips and strategies to help navigate tough conversations by developmental age range.
Toddlers & Preschoolers (Ages 2-5)
- Keep it simple: Young children don’t need elaborate explanations. Use concrete language and keep sentences short.
- Reassure safety: Their primary concern is often, “Am I safe? Are my caregivers okay?” Offering reassurance if you can will help them feel safer.
- Use stories or play: Books, dolls, and drawings can help explain big feelings and situations in ways they understand.
- Validate feelings: “I can see you’re feeling sad. It’s okay to feel that way. I’m here with you.”
Example: If discussing illness, say, “Grandpa is very sick. The doctors are helping him, and we can visit and show love.”
Early Elementary (Ages 6-9)
- Be honest but gentle: Kids at this stage understand more but still think in concrete terms. Answer their questions honestly, but don’t over-explain.
- Encourage questions: Let them know it’s okay to ask anything and you’ll help them find the answers.
- Model healthy emotions: If you’re feeling sad, show them it’s okay by saying, “I feel sad because of what happened, but I’m okay, and we’re in this together.”
- Use relatable examples: Comparing a tough topic to something familiar (like a storybook character’s experience) can help.
Example: If talking about a family separation, say, “Mom and Dad won’t live together anymore, but we both love you very much, and we’ll always be here for you.”
Tweens (Ages 10-12)
- Give them space to process: They may need time to sit with new information before discussing it.
- Encourage deeper thinking: Ask, “What do you think about this?” instead of just giving answers.
- Correct misinformation: Kids this age are exposed to information from peers and media. Be a trusted source to clarify facts.
- Acknowledge big emotions: “It’s okay to feel frustrated or confused. We can work through this together.”
Example: If discussing a tragic event, say, “This happened, and it’s very sad. Here’s how people are helping, and here’s what we can do if we want to support those affected.”
Teens (Ages 13+)
- Have open, ongoing conversations: Teens appreciate honesty and respect. Avoid talking at them—invite their thoughts and feelings.
- Respect their independence: Instead of giving solutions, ask, “What do you think would help?”
- Encourage emotional literacy: Help them name and process emotions instead of suppressing them.
- Talk about coping strategies: “When I feel overwhelmed, I find it helps to take a walk or talk to someone I trust. What helps you?”
Example: If discussing mental health, say, “It’s normal to feel stressed sometimes. If you ever feel overwhelmed, you can talk to me, a trusted adult, or a counselor.”
General Advice
No matter the age of the child there are some general tips and tricks to keep in mind as you navigate hard conversations.
Listen more than you talk – Let them express their thoughts without rushing to correct or minimize their feelings.
Validate emotions – Phrases like “That sounds really tough” help kids feel heard.
Use age-appropriate language – Avoid overwhelming younger kids with too many details but be direct with older ones.
Model calmness – Children take emotional cues from adults. Take deep breaths and show that it’s okay to talk about hard things.
Keep the door open – Let them know they can always come to you with questions, big or small.
Talking to kids about tough topics isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most powerful ways to build trust, resilience, and emotional well-being. When children feel heard and supported, they’re better equipped to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and care. If you and your family need some support, know that the clinicians at our Mental Wellbeing Clinic can help guide these conversations.
